DIGIJOURNAL 011--28 JAN 2007

DATELINE: 28JAN07 PB PALIWODA

Dear Friends,

One of the cardinal rules of running a website is that you have to keep it updated. I have violated that rule, but it has not been without reason. Earlier this month we lost one of our soldiers, CPL R. CPL R was a 21 year-old son of missionaries and was the soldier that everyone liked, despite differences in rank, station, and background. It has been devastating for his company and for the battalion. I have been amazed at how the company has come together in support of one another. They were out conducting missions within an hour of his death. I ask that you keep his family, his company, and the battalion in your prayers.

I will try to get everyone caught up on what has been going on in Warhorse-land.

Thought for the Day
Scripture: “Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith.” 1 Timothy 1:5
Quotation: “In war, it is extraordinary how it all comes down to the character of one man.” General Creighton Abrams

Mouse Jihad
I think we have successfully eradicated the mouse insurgents. Despite our numerous traps, loaded with the enticing bait of peanut butter and placed in strategic locations, we have yet to get a hit in over a month. I think CPL C waged a fairly successful psyop (psychological warfare operations) campaign against the mice. I will not get into it, but he even scared me with his determination. We will continue to keep you and the scoreboard updated. I know you are hanging on every tidbit of news.

Gloom Period
We have entered into the gloom period of the deployment. While we have completed over four months of the deployment, we still have over a half of the deployment to go.

When I was at West Point, the gloom period was used to describe the time between Christmas and Spring Break. The pristine white snow in Central Area became gray slush and eventually turned into a gray iceberg due to all the shoveling. You knew you had a long haul until spring, battling the foes of academics and the indoor obstacle course test (IOCT).

Well, we are experiencing the same type emotions here. We have had fairly regular rainfall, which turns the Iraqi dust into a gloopy mess of mud that gets on and covers everything. Lakes have formed within the various FOBs, and I have mentioned to the Special Forces Team that they should rent out jet skis due to the unusually large lake in front of their villa.

We have also grown weary of each other, especially the quirks and idiosyncrasies that we have tried to overlook but can no longer stand. This is the time to separate the spiritual men from the boys. I have continued to proclaim that we must have patience and forbearance during these times, because we are family whether we like each other or not. For the most part, we peacefully settle our disagreements, but I bet we soon will need a boxing ring for some roommates to handle their “issues.”

Thank You to Our Families
While we are having our trials and tribulations in Iraq, our wives and families are experiencing their own gloom period. At first, there is the initial anxiety (that never goes away) over the deployment. Usually the wives and moms initially have more than enough to do with the adjustment to being a single mom and geographical bachelor-ette. Over time, they grow weary of the daily grind, which tends to happen when you are working in or outside of the home, dealing with bills, playing referee to sibling rivalries, and cleaning up vomit and other excreta that children inevitably produce. So it is understandable that it sometimes gets old when friends and family ask about the husband or father who is downrange without checking in on who is keeping the homefires burning. While it is nice for folks to remind you that your husband is a hero, it would be even better if YOUR hero, when he is not deployed, could pick up his nasty PT gear from the bedroom floor and put it in the laundry basket once in awhile.

Well your faithfulness does not go unnoticed, and I cannot thank the wives enough for keeping their husbands and themselves between the rails so that they can focus on the things here, like keeping their chaplain alive. You remain in my prayers, and we could not do what we do if you did not do what you do.

Finding God on the Battlefield
One of these days (or years), I want to write a book describing all the interesting places that I have seen God at work on the battlefield. Some would think that God is conspicuously absent from combat, but the opposite is true. Since death is an ever-present reality (seminary professors would call this the concept of finitude), God tends to show up quite a bit. I have learned that I make a big mistake when I try to limit where and through whom God works. I have seen God work through the godless, which tends to make me think that there is no such thing as those without some knowledge or experience of the sacred (how Presbyterian of me, and if you do not know what I mean by this, do not worry, for half the Presbyterians do not either [see the Reformed understanding of Providence]). I am truly awed and amazed by what our soldiers do on a daily basis. In the next section I will share with you a personal story about the Spirit at work.

Kathleen Norris, IEDs, and There Is No Such Thing As Luck or Coincidences
About a week after the Memorial Ceremony for CPL R, CPL C (Paul C., my chaplain assistant) and I made our weekly trek down to LSA Anaconda and Patrol Base O’Ryan. The night before, when I was still trying to deny how much CPL R’s crossing into the Promised Land had affected me, I had been going through our library (made possible with your donations) when I came across an old favorite of mine: Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris. Ms. Norris is a poet who returned to the church after decades of wandering in the secular desert. Her book is one of the best compilations of all the important words in the Christian faith and what they mean. So I grabbed the book and decided to reread it.

As CPL C and I were waiting to leave our FOB, I came to her definition of detachment. The way she goes about defining the words is by writing an essay on each one. She talked about detachment as not being without feeling but being free from anxiety since God is in control of our lives and the world. For some reason I found comfort reading this as I sat, folded and very uncomfortable, in the back of the Humvee.

Soon we were rolling, and I placed the book in my cargo pocket and took up looking through the window in order to observe my sector. At about the time I was thinking about how many pastors visit their congregants clothed in Kevlar and traveling in an armored mini-tank, the enemy reminded us why we have the stuff in the first place. An IED (improvised explosive device) detonated 40 meters in front of our vehicle and ten meters behind the one in front of us. Most folks imagine a Hollywood type of pyrotechnical extravaganza when these bombs go off, and sometimes this happens, but not usually and not this time. We responded according to our training, and I looked at Paul with blame in my eye for his bad luck (it was our second time viewing a detonation right in front of us).

Now I could go with the facile explanation that God was looking over us, which I have no doubt He was, but I also think we were blessed with incompetent insurgents. I tend to shy away from the “God protected me because I am important” explanation because I know many soldiers who are better than me that have been hurt or killed by the terrorists. Instead, my detachment comes from the fact that I might have begun to understand that I really do not control very much when it comes to my life. God is in control, not me. While this thought used to bother me when I was 24, it does not seem so bad at 37. It is rather nice to know that I am not responsible for everything, and worrying about future consequences from battles I may never fight does not make me a more effective husband, father, friend, soldier, or chaplain.

Fortunately, no one was hurt, and we continued on our way. The difference this time is that I was more at peace with whatever the future holds instead of worried about it. And I had begun to make peace with the loss of a soldier and the pain of his friends and family. Faith is not a life accessory; it is life itself.

And all this because I tarried (goofed off) at the library made possible by you.

Tracking Boxes
I am trying to do the best I can to keep you posted on what we have received. I think the list is fairly up to date. I must thank my wife for keeping the list and the website going. I am slow, but I usually get to it. The mail has been fairly reliable, so I think most of what you sent has arrived. If you have any questions, please email me.

Closing
Well, it is already late and I must get ready for tomorrow’s missions. I thank you for your continued prayers for our soldiers. They truly are great people. I give thanks every night before I go to bed for what God has done to me through them. I also thank you for your faithfulness and interest in what is really going on over here.


Grace and Truth,
Warhorse Archangel